Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Racism in TV commercials

I don't care, this needs posting. I've been noticing TV commercials for the better part of a decade and since then I have noticed an overrepresentation of blacks vs. whites. In so many scenarios, I have seen situations where you have a white man and black man and very often the white man is portrayed as the inferior of the two. By inferior I mean he often is seen as the weaker one, nerdy, an idiot, socially awkward and in the end, the black man is the who comes out as the smarter one, or simply having the visual advantage.

In my opinion this is stupid and wrong and not a representation of reality. Each race has its good bad and the ugly, no one is spared. I've lived in three different countries so I base part of this belief on that. I think this is all a backlash of affirmative action in which society tried to reverse years of black discrimination. To do this, blacks (and prob other minorities) were given favor in areas of jobs and other social advantages. I believe that was a flawed system from the onset. I don't believe in the rocking of the social pendulum until we have equality. Based on TV commercials and hiring procedures which practice ratio quotas, we are seeing the inverse effect which is favoring people when they really don't deserve it. Blacks had problems in the past, yes I admit it. I wasn't there and I wouldn't practice it even today. That's besides the point yes, but the bottom line is this: I don't believe in privileges. Get in line and be humble and live life on your own merits.

What's pathetic is that I think it's considered racist to even bring something like this up. Those who know me and those who are able to look at life objectively will understand me. Here is an example of what I am saying. I am saying however that all commercials are like this. Not at all, but there have been enough out there where I have taken notice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdxiLQxC1n4. An example of what I mean.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

CT bound...for now

I am almost done here at Aston and this dissertation is dragging out like a blade. But I am nearing the finish. I am at the results where I report what was said in my interviews and then relate it to theory. Then the conclusion where I make some profound claim, argument etc etc which is going to be an equally profound moment in my dissertation. I have no idea what grade I'll get as I feel I've put a lot of effort into it, which I have, but Aston and their critical grading never cease to surprise. For better or for worse. But I am sure it's decent and I won't fail. In all honesty I don't care if I just pass it as it wont do anything to my overall grade. I need a 65 to get an overall merit for the whole MA, which in their infinite mercy they give me. Well actually I shouldn't say that as God is in charge of that!

So, not having a job lined up I will go back to CT for a bit on Sat, finish my dissertation there and mail it in. There are mostly ups to going there. 1. Hot weather 2. My parents. 3. friends 4. Boston + NY 5. Driving again 6. Peace and quiet. The downsides are my 1. My parents as I don't always like staying there 2. No more Europe and I have no idea if I'll come back here to work anytime soon. If I get hired here in England I'll take that position as I really want to stay here in Europe and England is alright as a country, even though my heart is in Italy. Although, if I found a job that paid 60,000$ in America I think I'd take it. In all likelihood, I see myself going to Saudi Arabia for a year as I need a job and I can't not work.

I am once again at a major crossroads and I am always nervous about making the wrong decision or making one that will have a effect on my life that I don't want or leave me kicking myself later for it. My instincts tell me to hold out and wait for a decent job and maybe one that is slightly below my pay expectations to then develop professionally. But on the other hand I cannot wait around at my parents not working as I am going to go beserk! A job though in Saudi would cut me off from pretty much everything including possible romantic possibilities which in light of tonight, might be possible

Cristina seems to want to get back together, which I have mixed feelings about. She is a complicated girl and I need to see her in person or at least on the phone to clear things up. I am not going to get into it here, as I could be here all night. I will just say this. I am not basing my life on her at this point. If she happens to fit in somewhere I'll deal with her when the time comes.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Seeing the finish line

I am actually in a good mood today, I must say. This will be a somewhat positive post, a bit of a rarity for me as most of mine are a tad melancholy and surreal. I mean every day has its ups and downs and I don't usually have only a good day as there are ugly moments, like now as this damn cough won't go away which I've had since June. But I've had blood tests, chest X-ray, ultrasound on my neck, chest listenings and prob a few other things (I love the NHS, I paid nothing) but nothing sinister is suspected. In the meantime I am taking a health powder supplement that my friend Shazia sells. It's supposed to restore our immune system and be some kinda magic health restorer. Ok. We'll see if it works. She swears by it and she's quite a serious person who says it fixed a lot of her health problems.

Today I apply for jobs. I need find something soon as this will determine where I spend the next chapter of my life. I am halfway done with the dissertation at 8,500 words and I think I will be done at the end of the month. I'd like to travel to Dublin for a weekend then go to see my parents for na decina di giorni (roughly ten days). But if I find a job before that I may be going directly there be it here, the Middle East, Italy or the USA. Those are my choices. In reality I see myself staying here or heading off to Oman or Saudi Arabia. I saw a job which pays SICK cash, and I applied with a response from them requesting my documents. I replied. But after having looked at the forums that talked and complained about this company on Daveseslcafe.com it might not be all it's cracked up to be and I remain doubtful as to the validity of the ad. Oh well, if it's as good as they claim that would nice but if not, there are other options out there.

So today, I take some free time from my dissertation and focus on myself and job hunting. I am happy though as this dissertation which I've dubbed "the monster" is not as tremendously as hard as I had predicted yet it is difficult. I still have to send off my sample work to my supervisor but I am confident she'll like it and won't suggest radical changes! She better not!

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Putting the past behind me......andiamo avanti.

I think one of the best parts of being an adult is allowing myself to put the past behind me. I used to deal with the past a lot worse than I do now. I've said goodbye to so many people, been through experiences, lived in different places that I've gotten used to I guess. Sure I miss certain things and certain people and I'd like to relive certain moments. But I have so many of them that I suppose I've reached a point where they either crush you (if you let them) and you're covered in sadness, or you let them help you to evolve to the point where you can throw it behind you and find the courage to look ahead.

Needless to say I am anxious to finish my dissertation which I am confident I'll get it done at the end of this month or at the latest the first week in September. I may go back to my parents house to finish it and if I don't find a job between now and Sept 12th which is when my lease is up at my room here at Aston. As for after I am leaning more towards staying here in England for many reasons. 1. I still don't care for America and I don't think I fit in there anymore. 2. The NHS, I want that publicly funded health care; I detest the US insurance companies which is an abomination at its core concept. 3. I am still here in Europe. 4. the UK despite its weather, is a more stabile country than the USA in my opinion. 5. I'd be here for my graduation in March. But I still may go to the Middle East for a year so I can save up and get experience, and then still come back here but unlikely i'd come back to Brum. Aston has been fine but it was only meant to be for a year to be honest.

I don't remember if I've posted this in past blogs, but once I get my own place and a proper job I want to undertake a few things. Salsa dancing, guitar, continue the gym, get into excellent shape, find a woman, get deeper into the Catholic faith, read the bible and lastly get involved with the church more. All in due time.

Monday, July 27, 2015

Almost done!

I am almost there! I have just come back from my summer job here in England and I am back at Aston. Not much more to go as I have to hand in my dissertation by Sept 30th, however I also have to leave my room by Sept 12th, so for me that is the real due date. I am confident though that I'll get it done well before the 12th, but I wouldn't be surprised if there were some difficulties and that the dissertation will present challenges that I hadn't thought of. Whatever, I'll deal with them when they come. I only hope I am able to provide more of a critical analysis than I have in the past.

Anyway, I am glad to be done with my summer camp job as it was stressful, I didn't sleep well, some of the kids annoyed me and I, being an independent person felt the total opposite. But it was a way to get paid while doing research for my dissertation, in fact I am jotting down now the things said from my recordings which I will then compare with literature. But it was bittersweet as there were nice aspects to the camp such as the picturesque town, nice co-workers, a few exceptions here and there. it's strange to be back though as when I left three weeks ago it felt like I had left Aston forever, instead I am back here and it's a ghost town as most people have gone home to finish their dissertation. This is good news for me as my flat is virtually empty which is great as two of the noisiest have left. One was noisy but not in an obnoxious way, the other was the party animal of the flat who in the end proved himself selfish, disrespectful and sneaky. The bastard is lucky he isn't still here as I have a few words for him.

I am in a surreal situation. It's part scary, part exciting and part unreal. I still can't decide where I want to go and start the next chapter of my life. I think I will most likely take a job in the Middle East as that is a great way to save money and I want to save a bit for once in my life! Also I think the exoticness of it is appealing. My next choice is Europe. I think I want to stay here as the USA is quite possibly not for me anymore, but I am not sure (Connecticut is def out of the question). I don't think I'd fit in to be honest. So that leaves the UK, Ireland and Italy where I would consider working. My heart is in Italy and it always will be, but I have said my opinion of that country too many times. It's weird though, when you leave it you forget the bad things and you long for the nice things and all the great memories. Then you go back and you get frustrated all over again. But I think what I crave is a warm place with a warm feel among the people, but with the opportunity to have some alone time and a quiet place to sleep. These places are great but I feel only the Middle East pays the big bucks whereas Italy and Spanish-speaking countries offer the life and culture I want but not the stability. Is the UK the answer to that, rain and ugly carpets and all??

I am overwhelmed with the choices out there. I suppose I should be grateful that I actually have these choices. I would like to find a school that can work with me, that can help me grow as a teacher and one that can bring out the things I have learned here at Aston (which I hope are things that are hidden for now), one that I can provide decent pay and steady work. I suppose this is what any working person desires. I pray to God to help me choose but it's not easy to hear what He has to say in this matter as each place I think of moving to has me asking myself "Am I going to regret this?" But I will trust that whatever I choose is what He wants for me. I must admit there is a certain curiosity to go back to the USA and the idea of working in a place such as California is appealing. In the end, it's all going to come down to the following: PAY, location, conditions, benefits and overall package.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

3 months to go

roughly three months to go and I am really looking forward to leaving here. It's a surreal feeling as I am approaching another big milestone in my life. Where will I go next? Who will I meet? Will my next job be a more permanent solution or will I find myself in a feeling of transition again? Will I stay here, go back to Italy (Rome or Milano preferably), find something lucrative in the USA or do the one year plunge in Saudi Arabia? My heart is to go back to Italy and grow old there, but I am looking at that place objectively and common sense tells me to avoid that whole country. But that is all going to depend on the job that I find, the pay and the conditions. I feel that taking a job in Saudi is a short fix as it won't at all be a permanent position but rather a year sacrifice to pay off my student loan. This is in fact really appealing as it would allow me to do just that, and it's a loaded package with them paying for everything including flights, vacation, visa, tutto! However, that's one more year where I can't give myself the possibility to find someone and settle down. But life is funny and I could meet her tomorrow (unlikely though)

I long for my adult life back. I've had it with Uni life, being around kids, this whole insular world. Although overall I've been fine here, but one year was enough. I want my own place, a quite, comfy, clean place which allows me to sleep fine at night and one where I don't need a car. What I most look forward to is getting some stability,independence and being self-supporting as that is how I've lived for a while now and it's what makes me comfortable. I do want to stay put for a while as I think this helps to find a woman; who wants to be with someone who is constantly moving around?

Post-Uni projects that I want to do are: learn to play the guitar, learn more languages, improve my salsa dancing, learn to cook better and combine that with getting in great shape via the gym. On that note I can see myself becoming a health freak in the future! And finally, but certainly not of least importance are getting married and having a family. I imagine that woman around my age must be thinking the same thing so I am hoping that works in my favor. I will pray in the meantime and ask God to give me continued strength and direction

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Dissertation time.

It's finally here! The last (elbeit) long stretch of my MA program and thank God it's here! I can't wait to get out of here and resume my adult life. It's been fine here at Aston and overall I don't have any serious complaints but I think one year was just enough for me. I hope I do fine with my dissertation as this is a monstrous project which takes a lot of preparation. As long as I can organize my notes and materials and organize the dissertation in a comprehensive way I'll feel better as I can write rather well.

I am starting to feel the pinch of this damn dissertation. What makes it worse is that I don't have my research questions approved yet by my supervisor who doesn't always respond fast. And, they aren't allowed to have too many contact hours with us as for them it defeats the purpose of the independent study aspect of all of this. I must say, after 8+ months here I can declare that I don't like independent study even though that is the purpose of an MA program. I came here for a degree as terrible as that may or may not sound. But, I am hopeful. I think I have put together research questions which are based on the supervisors suggestions and subtopics which I mentioned in my presentation and don't seem to be a problem for my supervisor. What I don't want is to look up something which she will then say is not doable or irrelevant; this has already happened. Basically I have roughly 3 weeks to complete my lit review, then I go to my summer camp to do my analysis for my dissertation. I still need to get my ethics form approved which I will know by Wed. After that I can send Exsportise my in loco parentis form asking them permission to do my research. I also need to come up with the consent form for my colleagues at the summer camp. So, there is still work to be done, but I think I can manage it ok. I just hate how things are out of my hands for now!

It's somewhat surreal to think I will be leaving here soon but the big question is where? I so want to live in a warm climate and I torn apart whether to stay here in the UK which ironically I don't mind considering the possibility. I'd love to go back to Italy as my recent trip there reminded me of the good things about living there (obscured when you don't have to pay bills or deal with le cavolate of living there!) but I need to be practical. I am still considering a year in the Middle East as it's guaranteed pay, housing, expenses paid and a great way to pay off my student loan which I want to reduce the time needed to pay it back. But, the downside is that it is the Middle East and I've never really been there aside from a half day tour in Turkey in 1999. Also it's another year where I can't find someone to settle down with, and my parents don't like the idea. But I can't live my life vicariously through them and I do think the pros outweigh the cons.

I also didn't get a good mark on my last two assessments, one of them was miserable although I only take half the fault for that. The assessment briefing was very cryptic and I'd have liked to have seen samples of past work. We were shown this, but for 10 mins in class. Big deal, I got NO benefit from that. But still I want to know where I went wrong with the other one as I had high hopes for that one. Logically this isn't the best mentality going into the dissertation. But I will just work persistently (or try to) and hope for the best. But I am nervous

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

School + life

With all the complexities of life, strange/interesting people and weird things that happen evey day, who needs fiction ? Coming here to Aston has been a real lesson in the school of life as far as human behavior is concerned and getting to know people of other cultures. Let me recap what I've seen in the past month: A dumbass Brit jumping into the canals naked, seeing a homeless man for the 3rd time and having a chat with him for which he managed to get 3£ out of me, our poker chips being stolen out of the box on top of the fridge, a night out with a German friend and two Arabs (from S.A. and Oman), some girl in the library who left her books on her desk for 4 straight hours without ever coming back. So I wrote in her notebook "Is it wise to leave your things out for hours on end?" It was quite interesting two weekends ago as we went to smoke Shisha and I probed them about their countries, Islam, Arabic and various things from their cultures.

I have also finally said Bye to Cristina once and for all. She is superficial and cold. No way around it. I decided to live up to own personal credo in that I do not want fake people in my life and she's it. No bitter feelings, no regrets, a bit of longing for our sweet moments and moments of intimacy but I am convinced I made the right decision. I sent her a letter telling her how I feel to which she wrote back "you're right". Well that pretty much cements it. Then she writes back and says "Cmq, se ti va ci vediamo quando torni in Italia" to which I said what's the point? and I've not heard from her since. So be it. We hadn't been together since last summer but this just made it final.

Something adorable that has happened to me recently has been my flatmates. I don't hate them per say, in fact I don't, but they are a bit selfish and inconsiderate. I am referring to two things in particular. 1. the way they leave the kitchen: dishes unwashed (although they usually wash them), counters, table and floors are always a mess 2. their nights out in which they go out and come back past 3 am usually with an entourage of their friends in which they are usually drunk and bring back take out food. I am never hungry past midnight and I can't understand this desire to eat at that hour. I am going to try to live alone again when I move out of here!

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Chasing people

My father has always told me to not chase people. Chase people in the sense don't keep pestering them to do what you want them to do. Of course we don't aways take our parents advice as it's only normal to not listen to someone you know well and who can get on your nerves sometimes. Also, when you know someone well, a gf, friend, parent etc. you eventually see them make a mistake or are wrong about something, so you tend to disregard thinking that this is another one of those times, them even when you really shouldn't. But my dad has always been right about this: don't chase people. As an adult and as someone who unfortunately learns by doing things the hard way I now better understand what this means. I think this piece of advice has been more obvious to me in terms of love in particular with what happened yesterday.

I won't get into details as it's not worth it. I wrote a letter on Word to my last gf, Cristina, a girl I dated from Aug 2013-Summer of last year who with me had always been cold, distant and superficial. Up until recently I still thought that some kind of future was possible although I always had my doubts and deep down I knew she wasn't right for me. Two days ago I wrote up my thoughts about us, her and why I thought she was superficial. Her answer? "You're right". Well, that pretty much cements the whole thing and I don't care. I just feel better that it's now officially over. I took my dad's advice and I will not chase her or anyone who doesn't want to be with me or even friends with me. I do admit that we have to be the ones who once in a while have to initiate contact and extend an olive branch, perhaps more than once. But what's important is that we realize quickly who isn't returning the ball served to them, as if human contact and relations were a metaphorical game of tennis.

While this piece of advice is good, I am not so cut and dry when it comes to relationships. They require more work and more patience. This might be why I am not always so quick to break up with someone; it just seems to vicious to tell someone bluntly, directly or indirectly, "I do NOT want to be with you". I have learned in life that there are often circumstances that we aren't aware of, or difficulties that others go through of which we are not aware of which could make someone seem distant. I grant that and I am empathetic when I am aware of the facts. But anyone who knows me, knows that I don't insist anyone do anything they don't want to, or the way I want things done. I am not a bossy, authoritative person so it's against my being to impose my will on someone. Now that may seem strange coming from a person who is doing an MA in TESOL (what is TESOL?!....no one has ever heard of this! google it), but when I am getting paid to be a boss then I will act like one.

I am not chasing anyone, if not being a pest means I have to spend some time alone then so be it. I'll end this with two credos that I live by: If someone or someone is important enough, you find and make the time. I treat others the way they treat me. If I seem too intense, Good! So be it.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Good Weather

I view good weather as a form of positivity and also something which could inadvertently make us sad. The sun, as has been proven is capable of producing a chemical reaction within our eyes which release endorphins. So I am all for the sun. But it can also give us false hope that good weather cures all. I've had plenty of bad days in which the sun didn't cure all. I've often said that I don't like the afternoon as for me it is a blah time if I have nothing to do. But one thing I like is the afternoon sun rays which come in from the window. They're beautiful and it's almost as if the light of God is coming in to touch us and comfort us.

It's hard to stay up when it's dark and rainy, and I picked the wrong country to study in, so it seems! But I've seen plenty of sun in my life that I always carry it inside of me.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Autonomy

I would argue that everyone need to be autonomous at some stage in their lives. It's a wonderful thing to be able to provide for yourself in every sense of the word, especially emotionally. My father always told me to not depend on anyone. Now why is that? Well, I believe that this way of thought is created due to a certain number of factors: human error, selfishness in that people look after themselves first before they worry about you. But, focusing more on the emotional side of autonomy I believe it to be a valuable self-defence mechanism against times in your life in which you are alone and disappointed by friends and people you love. In my case I have certainly experienced both. It's a very difficult thing to learn to live with yourself, like yourself and allow yourself to form a hard exterior which in a way shields yourself from life's disappointments. I realize this may seem to like a pessimistic approach in life, but I am capable of optimism. However it's a way to protect yourself against life's bows and arrows which is something positive

I think what else has spawned this sense of being in myself has been my interaction with others in all the places that I have lived. I have met many people and have had my ups and downs in human relations both in love, friendship and the professional world. One valuable thing I have learned is that we are all far from compatible. Why this is so, is God's mystery. With this said, it's only logical that we are going to be disappointed in our encounters with others as we are forcing ourselves to mesh something together, to put a square peg into a circle. To give another metaphor, we are all like a puzzle with billions of tiny pieces and it takes time to find the right match. The point is this: when you've been through enough episodes where you are the square and the other person is a weird shape that you can hardly recognize, why try and make things fit? When you've been through of these times you begin to not care anymore and it allows you to concentrate more on yourself, your faults, your positive qualities and your self-confidence which in the end makes you a stronger person

I am not promoting a hermits way of life, certainly not, I need friends too and social interaction as I think the more we interact with others the more we learn about ourself. The more we isolate ourselves the more I think we develop strange behaviors and ways of thinking. This somewhat touches on my Reality post a few weeks ago, but I'll reiterate here; why let others dictate how you feel about yourself? This is harder when you are younger I realize this and I think this is why I like being an adult as school days are long gone. Well not exactly for me, but I mean the years during your formative years.

Half way

I am at the half way point in my MA program. What have I learned? I am not sure to be honest. I am brutally honest with myself and I use this word as it is how I accurately portray myself and the high standards I set for myself (which I don't meet). I think....that this program has at least got me thinking in the right direction in regards to teaching and made me aware that you have to be well prepared as a teacher and always keep your students needs in mind. Dont waste their time. I think I knew that in Italy though.

I intend to force myself to keep reading academic related stuff (and I really hope that happens) and to buy a good grammar book to be on top of the material that I teach. What has been made obvious to me is that my personality is conducive to teaching as you have to have a good rapport with your students, otherwise it makes learning impossible. What I want to have happen is that I can be able to design lessons which accomplish the following: they learn! they have fun, they are stimulated and that I can provide them with language that they can use, that is used and can be applied to whatever needs they may have. What I also hope happens is that I get support from whatever school I work out so they can assist me in creating those fun, interesting and worthwhile lessons. It would be a bonus if I can work with adults, or a school that will pay for me to get further certified to work in the public sector. I think once you work in that kind of environment you are in for life and you have job security. Let's keep my fingers crossed.

I am looking forward to finishing here to be honest. Aston Uni is nice and I have made some cool friends here, the occasional parties are cool and we are right in the city centre, but I miss having an apt, a real job etc etc. I am 35 and I have lived in the real world for many years. Looking forward to rejoining it.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Italian citizenship

This post is for anyone of Italian descent and would like some information on how they can acquire Italian citizenship. I didn't actually acquire it, rather I inherited it from my great-grandfather; it was treated as a birth right. The better word for it is "recognized" which is exactly what was done for me at the Italian Consulate in NY. It was really no different than any other immigrant who comes to a foreign country, has a child who via the parents obtains dual citizenship, that of the parents and the country in which the kid was born (NB this doesn't apply to every country). This was my case, only 3 generations further down the family tree.

Guidelines To anyone who wants Italian citizenship, the most important things to find out are the following:

1. Who was from Italy

2. when they came to America, Brazil, Argentina (the new country) ..

3. is the immigrant a woman (I'll get into that eventually),

4. did they become an American citizen and if so when?

My path to Italian citizenship was rather easy, at least as far as eligibility was concerned. The path went in this direction: Paternal Great-grandfather, grandfather, father, me. All males. All same last name and my father's name is identical as his nonno. In this, it was rather easy to see the family connection and I imagine it was easier for the Italian consulate to decide my case.

Andiamo a Torre Del Greco Once I established that my bisnonno had most likely never became a US citizen I decided to go to his town, Torre Del Greco, near Napoli and go to the town hall to request a copy of his birth and marriage certificate which was no easy task. My only advantage was that I am not a pushy person and I spoke the language. It was quite an emotional experience as in the end I had written documentation of a direct descendant from Italy in my hands. But the hardest part I'd say was getting the proof from the US side that he was never an American citizen and for this I wrote to the US dept of Homeland Security. I waited for months to get a response back and that was very nerve wracking. In fact I asked a local politician to step in for me and less than a week later I got the letter I wanted! The letter came back saying "No records found". What that meant was that my bisnonno was possibly an illegal alien his whole life, but more importantly, STILL ITALIAN and thus at the time of my grandpa's birth his father was able to pass on his citizenship (although I doubt this was actually done.)

Proper Documents The next step was to get birth, death, marriage and divorce documents for all 4 generations involved (if they applied) and then you needed to get an international notary stamp on the non-Italian documents. After that I had to call the NY Italian consulate and make an appointment to have the documents looked at. That was a pain in the ass as you had to wait months for the appointment and I believe it's now a years wait time AND the number to call them is a 1-900 number. I had a total of 3 appointments. Worse was the incompetent staff there who were rather disorganized and each one had their own view of what the correct procedure was. For example, I also needed some documents translated (fortunately I did them myself), and each time I got conflicting instructions as to which ones needed it. I was relieved when everything was in order and the whole process took me 3 years from when I first went to Torre Del Greco in 2005 to receiving the Italian passport in 2008. Once the documents are in order, they send your birth certificate off to the Italian ascendant's town where it is registered at the town hall (in Italy). This thus is further proof of your Italian citizenship as you can collect a copy of your birth certificate like any other citizen (which I did).

Eligibility Getting back to the aspect of eligibility, not everyone is, unfortunately. It is important to establish the guidelines that I mentioned in the second paragraph. I was eligible as at the time of my grandfather's birth (born in the USA) his father, the Italian immigrant, was still a citizen of Italy and therefore citizenship was able to be transmitted to my grandfather. In other words, what Italian law requires is that at the time of birth of the first child born in the new country (this is my grandfather), the immigrant must still be a citizen of Italy in order for his children to be eligible for dual citizenship. I've mentioned this twice as I want to make it clear and stress its importance.

No Citizenship Now I will give you a case in which it cannot be passed on. This is the case of my great-uncle Antonio who was my grandfather's brother born Torre Del Greco and immigrated at the age of 2. My grandfather was the last of 6 kids in which half were born in Torre Del Greco and half in Boston. Naturally all the ones born in Torre were children when they went to America. In Antonio's case, he became a US citizen before his first child was born and unfortunately back then this was seen as renouncing his Italian citizenship under Italian law. Therefore, citizenship could not be passed on, so my dad's cousin, whose father was Antonio is ineligible (not that he wants it!). If an Italian citizen became a US citizen, this was fine providing the birth of his children happened before taking up American citizenship. I don't know if this law still applies or what that means for siblings who were born before AND after the acquisition of US citizenship of the parent occurred. Also, in regards to the documents needed, a copy of a US naturalization certificate is requested if US citizenship was taken up.

Female side Now the part concerning the mother. Italy was in some aspects still is an arguably male-dominated society. Women weren't granted the right to vote till 1948. This is relevant as under Italian law, a woman was not able to transmit Italian citizenship if she was born before that year. So anyone who wishes recognition of their Italian citizenship, (often called Jus sanguinis) must see if they are getting it via a man or a woman, unfair as that may sound in modern times! I am not an expert on this aspect of the law for citizenship, but I do know having a woman involved in the mix made and still makes things complicated for applicants. One must also consider that once a woman got married and changed her last name it makes it a bit more difficult to prove lineage when you have this variation in names. Fortunately this wasn't my case! Had I decided to go the route via my paternal grandmother, that would have been possible but more difficult as I'd have to have done it via her father who became a US citizen and I believe it was after she was born.

The Benefits I've greatly enjoyed having my Italian citizenship being recognized. I feel more connected to my roots and I am legally Italian-American (not just a cultural pseudo-name ). I've lived in Europe since 2009 and I dont have to worry about visas, or being deported for whatever reason. I've also qualified for lower tuition here at Aston as I am an EU student and I have also been able to be hired by summer camps here in the UK because I have EU status. To those who are interested in this path, feel free to contact me. A pre-warning: it's full of frustration. I won't sugar coat it. It is a purely circumstantial situation in which the difficulties differ from one case to another. It also depends on which consulate you have to deal with.

Advice 1. Be WELL prepared and find out which documents you need before you even set foot in that office where they review all the documents. 2. Call and make the appointment immediately as you have to wait a year anyway. If they ask you if your documents are all set, say yes anyway or else they will tell you to call back. 3. Be prepared to be rejected as they tend to not be organized. I would definitely throw the law back in their faces and quote from something official of what is required, this prevents individual interpretation of the law. Also, call their hotline and ask exactly what is needed. Or write me here and I'll do what I can!

General guidelines As I stated above, every case is different and things can be dramatically different from one case to another. But I believe I can provide some general advice for anyone looking to take on this unique quest. I have in part already stated what is needed above but I will repeat it again as it's important to be accurate with the Italian consulate

1. You will without a doubt need these documents: Marriage, Death, Divorce documents.

2. All Italian documents are fine and need nothing more done to them. All non-Italian document need what is called an Apostille which is in essence an international notary stamp. In the US, those can be obtained at the State Capitol building. I had to get them from Massachusetts, Connecticut and Illinois. Massachusetts was the easiest as far as cost and time for processing was concerned. It was 5$ per document and it was done right there while you wait. Connecticut was 20$ and you had to have it sent via mail after you visit the state Capitol building. Now granted this was all close to 10 years ago, so costs and times could very well have changed by now. But getting the Apostille has not changed.

3. Optional documents: US certificate of Naturalization. Obviously if this is pertinent. (In my case it wasn't an issue). They might also want military records although for my great-grandfather they didnt ask even though he was in the military 100 years ago!

.4. Translations I had to translate the following: Birth, death and marriage certificates for all 3 generations. They asked for the divorce ones of my father to be translated but I didnt do them as I didn't think they were 100% relevant to the process and luckily they didnt ask why I hadn't translated them. This is somewhat a grey area unfortunately. As I stated above, the consulate is very inconsistent with procedure, so it is best to call them and have them tell you what is needed. Fortunately, they weren't particular with who did the translations so I did them myself. What is important is that they are translated well.

5. ANY name change must be explained as the consulate must be able to link your lineage to the Italian in question. This is why when there is a woman involved in the process things could become complicated as her last name often changes when she gets married.

6. The whole point of the consulate asking for all these documents is that they want pertinent information on their citizens past, present and future.

7. Italian proficiency is not necessary to be recognized as an Italian citizen.

8. You can request a Codice Fiscale once you are a citizen which is equivalent of an American SSN or a British NI number. It's free.

In closing I would like to add that my information is from 7 years ago so things may have changed but what has changed is arguably a matter of details, costs and wait times. It is a frustrating process but so worth it! Buona fortuna!

Monday, March 16, 2015

Love sucks

I don't ever vent about my love life on the net, but since this blog seems to be primarily for me, why not have a little vent? I am not sure in all 35 years I have ever truly felt in love, at least to the point where it was fully returned. I've had infatuations and felt the pangs of love, but the overall full on sensation of love I'm not sure it's ever happened and I don't know if I will ever experience it. I suppose it's in part due to my own stubbornness and perhaps also my hangups on what I expect my lady to be. To get right down to it, I am obsessed with Italian roots and I don't want anyone "less." Noble idea yes, but in turn that does limit me and I suppose the price I pay is solitude. I begin to wonder if it is worth it to be so selective, the idea in itself at face value does seem superficial, I realize that. But it's how I am built and I dont think it's impossible to happen.

I am entering a mental state where I have been numerous times before and that is to not give a damn about my sentimental state and just focus on my own self-improvement. I miss being in love (or at least the promise of it) but I don't want it to rule my life and consume me which it seems to be doing unfortunately. Che ben venga/let it come, let her or the situation come about on its own as it's obvious that via my own efforts something will not happen. I think this can apply for many things; if you obsess over something, it eats you up and you can't live properly.

I have patience in life, patience when I don't feel like waiting, patience when I realize it's my only option. But, in the game of love, I am so uncertain when it is required, when it's the time to be persistent (gotta be a man and pursue the girl, especially when she shows no interest) and when it's time to keep your distance. What has never been in doubt is this: I know what I want and I know when I simply "click" with a person and this expands also into friendship. What I do want is something that was severely lacking in my last relationship and that was a reciprocal feeling of love, unconditional. My last gf told me I came with problems in the sense that I could up and leave her and go back to America or who knows where and I suspect she also didn't get the idea of coming here to study (seeing as how I took out a loan). One of the last times I saw her she said she loved me, but I don't believe her at all. It doesn't matter, it's finished. She's a superficial person and I wish her well. What I have always wanted is just someone who only has eyes for me. I had it with my college gf, but it wasnt meant to be and I had issues with her that couldnt get be fixed. I am happy we don't speak as it's better this way.

So what will I do? Keep up contacts. Pray. Concentrate on my schooling as I know it is so worth it in the end. Not be jealous of anyone. Have patience and I really should keep in mind the expression "Meglio single che mal accompagnato". But I really want to be this way forever and I haven't officially lost hope that I will get married and have a family some day. Tomorrow is a new day!

Friday, March 13, 2015

The Rich

I truly think the rich are en evil breed, or have the enormous potential of being so. What is inspiring this post is me having just watched the movie the Wolf of Wall Street in which I think DiCaprio did a good portrayal of a sleazy drug-addicted stock broker. This kinda person scares me and I find them very erratic and I dont think the character that DiCaprio portrays is that far off from the real kind of disgusting brokers that work in the real world.

But aside from the rich, I also have no respect for people with a superiority complex. This includes academics and anyone who uses their life experience as emotional leverage against someone they deem 'less' than them. On that note I must be careful not to think I am better than others based on my accomplishments in life. Rather I should just think of them as making me unique and leave it at that. But yeah, I don't tolerate arrogance in any way shape or form. I look at arrogant people as being stupid. Stupid in the sense that they lack the sense to know how to be humble and civil to all. With these people I take the approach of my father, "I treat people the way they treat me".

I think everyone should be poor at some point in their lives as when you have money you should appreciate it and not waste it. I can see this being me when I get a job eventually. Of course a little bit of pampering is fine as well all need a little luxury in life. But here I think is a VERY grey area in life in which people go nuts! Another thing I think we should all do is reach out to the homeless. This is a very cliche phrase, so I will give a practical example: go up to a homeless person and talk to them like they are a person which is what they are. Now I know there are a lot of fakers and people who buy drugs and the like, but they can't be all that bad. I did this a few nights ago. I approached a homeless guy whom I had bought a sandwich a few months ago and I didn't recognize him at first. Then we had a nice chat and he appreciated the company and the coffee. I don't know the exact details of his and there is probably a few things he wont tell me which would indicate exactly why he is on the streets, but the fact remains.....he is still on the streets. No one should live this way. Everyone deserves a bed, a comfortable place to live, access to medical care and healthy food. None of this will happen until mentalities change, the ones that don't want anything to do with anything that doesn't involve their own comfort. We're all humans, all God's children. How is it that he made your left pinky more precious than mine?

Once I start working so I can take care of my basic necessities, I will try to reach out to others. I hope I rememebr this post

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Benvenuti al Sud

I have just watched this wonderful film and it always moves me and it reminds me of all that I lived and experienced in 5 years that I lived in Campania. And to be honest I am happy that I lived in one specific region for all that time. It gives me a real Southern Italian identity. I was happier in Napoli than Salerno simply because it was Napoli and I managed to find happiness despite its reputation and my troubles there. I suppose what made Italy and Napoli what they were, was the people. The Italians and napoletani are one of a kind. As a 3rd generation Italian-American whose great-grandparents were from Torre Del Greco and Camigliano (Caserta), it was a weird and yet very satisfying feeling to come back to your roots. Anyone who knows me, knows that this is something, a time and place which is more special to me than the place where I was born. This cari amici miei, is why I went there and almost stayed there forever.

For all the complaints I had against Italy and for all the hard times I had, I would like to dedicate this post to all the great things that made the whole experience worthwhile.

1. The myth of the South and Napoli, as I said before was enough for me to stay there.

2. The food. It wasn't usually hard to find fresh food and decent pizza.

3. The people. I could say a lot about this but I will give a banal example. If I got lost or needed directions, they were very helpful in making sure I understood where I had to go.

4. The uniqueness in the clothes where it didn't cost much to dress half-way decent.

5. The weather is overall good the whole year and the winters got chilly but nothing like Connecticut.

6. My friends. I had a few come and go and there were superficial people to be had, but I liked it how you didn't need money to impress them, just be you. Some were very selfless and did things not expecting nothing in return. But of course they'd insist that you never repay them back. Insist anyway.

7. The people had a great mix of being cordial (usually) and not overdoing it with the fake happiness. That was perfect for a person like me. The Italians are very objective about life and themselves, but not overly cynical like the English.

8. Gelato! That speaks for itself!

9. O' presep'! The nativity scenes that are true craftsman's work made in Naples.

10. The women. There were some women who were so beautiful and composed that it reminds you of what women are supposed to look like!

11. History was always right around the corner and Italy is a fascinating country for this.

12. Rome was never too far away

13. La Campania is not a region too saturated with tourists and it preserves a very Italian-like feel to it.

14. Ischia. Bellissima! I would easily build a life there. It's beautiful, calm, clean and it just enchanted me.

15. The sea/Il mare. How many wonderful moments I had just looking out at the water and thinking.

16. Vesuvius. It's a sleeping giant capable of producing death on a mass scale, but yet beautiful and fascinating to look at. You read about Pompei and the legend of Vesuvius. Then there it is in front of you, still there.

17. The Amalfi coast. One of the perks of being in Salerno. You will never see such beauty in all the world. Some personal favorites were Ravello and Positano. Also half the experience is taking a bus going there which squeezes along those narrow roads overlooking the cliffs.

18. New Years in Napoli. What a war that was! Fireworks everywhere till 2 am!

19. The palace in Caserta

20. Parco Virgiliano, Parco capodimonte, Villa Floridiana, and the Pontile di Bagnoli were all places I went to walk, think and ponder life.

21. The lungomare di Salerno. I spent many hours walking up and down and riding my bike on it.

22. Via Roma in Napoli and Salerno.

23. Piazza del Plebescito, Napoli.

24. Discovering my great-grandparents last known address in Torre Del Greco.

25. My many visits to the Carrefour mall in Pontecagnano.

26. Many busrides listening to music and observing the general public

27. walking around the Centro Direzionale in Napoli

28. The Napoli metro which I dearly missed when I went to Salerno

29. Mermaids tavern in Pontecagnano

30. The Xmas lights in Salerno which everyone from Campania came to see.

31. My 2nd gf, Giovanna from Napoli who thanks to her, I was exposed to much of the local culture, and the surrounding area as she had a motorino and car.

32. The 2 soccer games I saw at the San Paolo Stadium in Napoli, and they lost! Port a secc!!

33. Il napoletano. The local dialect. What a treat that was even though I dont speak it that well nor do I understand everything. But my grandparents spoke it and it was great to decipher what I had heard in the past both in Italy and among the Italian-Americans.

La Campania: staje semp' rint o cor !

Monday, February 23, 2015

Who cares what others think? My reality or yours?

I used to be a person of low self-confidence and I think it was a result of hitting puberty late while ironically being mature for my age. In essence as a teenager I had to dumb myself down to somewhat "fit in" which is tragic as I think that stinted my mental growth for years which I was only able to recover as an adult. I took a lot of mental abuse by my classmates and it took a while to recover. You can imagine what this did with my self-confidence in approaching women, but with getting older you realize that human relations are like the right chemistry mix needed in order to produce something that isn't toxic (although some like - prefer it that)!

So what changed? Well I am not the person I want to be, but my interactions with so many different people these past 10 years have shaped the way I see people, myself and how I view the world. More importantly I've thought often about what it means the rhetorical question "what cares what others think"? One of my ex bosses who reads books on psychology, gave me a great piece of advice and it's that "everyone has their own particular view of life and of how they see things". Their perception of reality is most likely different than yours, be it greatly or slightly; so with this train of thought I propose this question: Why should I succumb to, or accept the views that others have, and have them forced upon me as my own? I'll give a tangible example. Suppose you have a song that you really like and it really motivates you. Along comes a shallow, pretentious person, (or it could even be someone pleasant, who knows?) who mocks you for it, and quite often does it in the presence of others as quite often this is a method of self-vindication. I'd ask the monkey, "And you're guaranteeing me something superior? I have to stop because you say so? Who the hell are you?"

What has shaped my mentality in recent years has been numerous factors: 1. living abroad for 5.5 years will do that. 2. Living alone and making my own rules of what normal is (yet not going to extremes)! 3. A further understanding of the Catholic faith and that no one is superior over another or over the Lord; that all that you accomplish here will be left here on your last day. With the latter thought, I look at people in this light, and I try not to hate or have bad feelings. I think, "if we all equal under this premise, how can your personal opinions, tastes or ways of living be automatically much better than mine"? Also, the world is a big place and I believe that the more you explore it, the more you meet other people, the more you learn about yourself and the world. Italian living, in other words living in apartments and in close quarters with their neighbors puts them in close contact with society, and thus a rich culture is created as well as an interesting perception on human behavior. It is a perception based on frequent empirical encounters (real life encounters. I use this word as after many boring readings of academic articles, I know how to use it, but I refuse to use it anymore as I find it disturbing how so many people use it in their writings....drones if you will.) I am also used to being unique both here and in Italy, and when you feel that there aren't that many of you around the area, you could tend to become independently minded. I think that EVERYONE at some point in their lives ought to single and independent, at least for 6 months.

Vabeh, ok, I still do live in modern society, so in way we all do conform in some way or another. But in matters where I have freedom to choose certain things like style, opinions, what I find funny or don't, I, and I alone want to be the judge of that. To reiterate what I said before, do we really want some dumbass to dictate how things "must" be done or what we think? I realize I am repeating what has been said before by many others, but I think the more we repeat these ideas/slogans, the more others read them, they might start to give them more credence and reflect a bit more. I'd be flattered if a lonely teen with no self-esteem reads this. Since I feel better about myself while gracefully accepting my new age of 35, I feel it is my duty as a member of the human race to help others as my education has come from just this; contact with others and the world.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Life....

I don't mind sharing my thoughts with the world. I have nothing to hide, nothing important that is. I have just gotten my last exam back and it was a pass at 55% which is considered fine here. 75-80 according to Aston standards is outstanding. I am relieved to have passed but at the same time I keep beating myself up over if I could have done more to prepare myself. There was a theoretical part which I am sure was the worst part of the exam and if I had read more I am sure it would have gone better. The Discourse Analysis paper was the lowest assessment grade at 55. I didn't care very much for that course of the professor, so it wasn't high up on my priority list. But I could have written it better, that's for sure. I think and I hope that my next round of assessments will go better.

I miss a few things in life and I really want to have them again. I have been independent and independently minded for much or my adult life and I am grateful for this mentality as I believe it is one that helps you to grow mentally and also in other ways. But I deeply miss working, making my own money, having my own place and not depending on anyone. I tolerate my time here at Aston as I know that in the end I'll have an MA in a field where there is sure to be plenty of work. What I really want most of all is....stability. A quiet existence where I can feel secure at a place in which I teach a language or do something involved with that world. A life, which allows me small luxuries, such as new clothing once in a while, simple vacations, a car, some of the things that I took for granted before I moved to Italy.

Another thing on my mind is a certain someone whom I won't mention per scaramanzia (Italian for "to not jinx myself"). We've reconnected on FB and it has made me happy, but at the same time a bit uncertain. We met in chat years ago, well over 10. In 2007 we met for the first time in Canada and it was great. I was never so sad to leave someone and not knowing when we would ever see each other again....we still haven't. We've kept in contact off and on throughout the years because for some reason I knew that it was worth it. I've always had a strong feeling about her and it was just an instant connection when we first met. I hugged her, lifted her into the air and gave her a kiss on each cheek. If I could go back in time, I'd have kissed her properly when we last saw each other. I'd also have seriously thought about what I would have had to have done to arrange to be together in some way shape or form. But then again, I may not have gone to Italy and despite my hardships there, I have no real regrets about going, so I am not gonna brood over what can't be changed. I had to somewhat forget about her in a certain sense as I had to get on my with my life. I was somewhat hurt when she got a new bf, but I said nothing as it would have been useless in my opinion and I don't meddle with people who are taken. I suppose she could have said the same about me as I've certainly had a few adventures over the years. On this train of thought, I can recall when I had my college gf back in 2003-2005, every damn time I talked to her in chat I would tell myself "Why are we not together?!" I would have easily taken her over the other one as harsh as that sounds.

Obviously this is bugging me more than my studies! Then again I am not failing anything so I can allow myself to think about my love life. As I said above, I am uncertain how she feels in all this. I sent her a love letter and I think she liked it. I can't always read emotions in chat too well, but despite all the positive vibes from her, I think she is a bit cautious as there is certainly a chance that we won't end up together, with the distance thing. That makes sense, but I am used to having a crush on someone who doesn't live on the same continent as I do, so I could easily jump into this with her now. But perhaps she needs time, so I will just have to wait a bit longer. I don't doubt an interest on her part, but maybe what I am seeing, now that she is an adult like me (shhhhh dont tell anyone!!!) is her sensible and objective side which most likely is taking control of this situation. I think we both know that an encounter in person would be the decisive factor and that I would do all I could to win her and convince her to think along the lines of a possible life together. A well paying job and to hug her every day would be so ideal and I dont think it's unreachable. But let's see how this all plays out, how she reacts. Buona notte

Monday, February 16, 2015

35

Wow! It's somewhat intimidating to say that number! But whatever, I have no choice in the matter and I accept it. Actually, I like getting older as I acquire more knowledge and I learn more about life. People joke about getting older and that's part of popular culture. But on a serious note, many people die before they turn 35 and I am grateful to still be here. God must still want me here for a reason.

I am spending it today with classmates here at Aston and unfortunately we have to have it here in my kitchen as the common room is closed. Or so now I shall call it "the not so common room". But anyway the night went off without a hitch and I was happy to be with my friends and I am grateful to anyone who came.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Proper parenting

And so it continues, my rants about people! But this time I am directing them towards what I believe is the root cause of 90% (if not all) our problems in society; bad parenting.

Think about it, where do we learn our values, beliefs and our mentality from? The seed is planted and our primary source is our family and parents. I constantly quote my parents, especially my dad when I am confronted with careless, selfish and egotistical people. I understand that your environment also plays a role in how you think and act which is not to be discarded. But before all that there are your parents who, as I said before, plant the initial seed which determines how you react in that environment.

What really gets on my nerves are people who have no consideration for others, selfishness in other words. I am no saint and I am sure people see problems in me that perhaps I lack the vision to realize, but I think I have a good idea of a shallow person when I encounter one. Since I moved here to Europe, I’ve lived with various people in different apartments. Now I am at a university dorm where thankfully I have my own room which has a shower and bathroom (en-suite as they call it). The only thing that I share is a kitchen and that gets on my nerves. Why do I always get stuck with people who don’t clean and are content to live in filth?! I mean they do clean the dishes but I’ve never seem them clean anything else. It’s just against my very being to leave a kitchen an absolute mess! At the most I’ll leave dishes in the sink but not for very long.

University. Luckily I am in a postgraduate block. But I have walked past some other parts of school that are much worse where I can hear annoying C. RAP music being played, loud people. I know I am showing age, but I don’t think I was that loud 10-15 years ago. Getting back to “how I was raised” issue, I was always made aware of what noise I was making and who can hear it. Once at a late hour when I was a kid, I decided to play with a toy for which it woke up my parents. My dad came in immediately and told me to knock it off! I can’t verify for sure if those who blast music from their cars/rooms were raised in a similar way.

What it all boils down to is respect for other people. I see a lack of that at the gym where I go here. We are instructed to put our weights away after we use them. You’d think it was a military obstacle course with all of them lying on the ground!

Well I can’t change the world and I have things about my own behavior that I’d like to change. But I can choose to live in a place where I don’t have to listen to my neighbors carrying on as if no one can hear them! Selfish mongoloids!

Monday, February 2, 2015

Academic writing

I am so irritated with reading academic writing! I struggle to understand theory and it takes me many readings not only to get a concept, but to also understand the context around it and for what purpose it needs to be talked about. However what I also struggle with is the distinction between and the ability to recognize an academic personality who is just doing his job and flexing his intellectual muscle. Or, like I want to believe, is he/she someone who is so wrapped up in a way of writing and is showing off how complicated a simple concept can made out to be? Am I just inexperienced in this line of thinking and this style? Make no mistake though, there are intellectuals out there who are full of themselves and I am convinced that this is conveyed in a lot of writing and literary work. Someone's gotta put a stop to this! I promise the world that if I ever publish something, I won't revert to this mind torturing style.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

post in italiano

Giusto per fare qualcosa di diverso, scrivo questo post in italiano. Tanto c'e' il traduttore a fianco per chi ne abbia bisogno! Sono 4 mesi che non abito piu' in Italia e sto inziando a sentirne la mancanza, sia delle cose belle che di quelle che mi davano fastidio.

Beh, le ultime di meno!! Ci ricordiamo sempre di piu' delle cose belle quando ci allontaniamo e ci dimentichiamo di quelle brutte.

Cio' che mi manca è: Il sole, gli amici, il calore e la disponibilita' della gente, il cibo (ovvio!), le belle ragazze (eh!) e la sensazione di stare in un posto che ha una lunga storia in ogni angolo, e dove ci sono le mie origini. Dopo 5 anni m'aggia scettat come si dice a Napoli e mi sono accorto che purtroppo la nostra amata Italia sta fallendo e che non promette un futuro stabile e dignitoso per la mia e le nuove generazioni.

Non so nel Nord, o da Roma in Su, ma cio' e' stata la mia impressione al Sud. Secondo me per salvarla ci vorrebbe una rivoluzione e rifare tutto da capo ; se non si scoccia nessuno naturalmente. Lo dicevo spesso e lo dico ora, se gli italiani mettessero la meta' della passione che hanno per il calcio nella voglia di cambiare il paese per il bene, l'Italia sarebbe un posto prospero che non creerebbe piu' la voglia di andarsene.

Per non dire sempre le stesse stronzate vorrei chiudere con i miei ricordi piu' belli, quelli che veramente fanno sentire la mancanza del Paese e che a volte mi fanno venire la voglia di tornare, di pensare alle possibilita' che ci possono essere per me in futuro.

1. Ho vissuto al Sud, il posto delle mie origini. Sarà per la gente che ci sono rimasto 5 anni, per il loro cuore e carattere divertente. Ho visto un po’ tutto sinceramente, i belli, i brutti e i cattivi, stronzi, buoni e strani, funerali, festa di laurea, colloquio di lavoro, litigi, amore, ecc ecc. La bellezza del Sud era una cosa che a me non sembrava vera, ossia quella di svegliarmi ogni mattina con la possibilita' di prendere il treno/il pullman e andare in posti che molti turisti vedono una volta sola nella vita. Per me, invece, erano abbastanza raggiungibili, a portata di mano.

2. Il cibo. azz,e che qualita'! Credo che questo parli da solo. Io qui in Inghilterra non riesco a ricreare tutti i piatti di pasta che mangiavo in Italia perche' qui gli ingredienti purtroppo non hanno lo stesso sapore. L’unico tipo di pasta che so fare bene è la pasta al sugo che mangio spesso, anche perche' costa poco e così non mi faccio il buco in petto a Tesco! (Dall’espressione napoletana “o buc mmpiet”, cioè quando ti fanno spendere troppo!)

3. Andare con la bicicletta sul lungomare d'estate. Salerno e' una citta' ideale per prendere un po’ di sole sia in spiaggia che in bici. Sicuramente il 99% degli italiani non penserebbe mai di prendere il sole andando in bicicletta. Personalmente non mi andava di sdraiarmi sulla sabbia che si appiccica dopo un bagno e arrostirmi con un pollo allo spiedo invecchiando la pelle.

4. Per me l’Italia e' sempre stato un posto in cui avrei voluto vivere. Non nascondo che a me l'America non piace. Infatti non riuscivo a capire l'amore per l'America che avevano gli italiani (poi col passare degli anni, ho capito meglio questo amore cieco per gli USA). Mi divertivo quando esprimevo il mio parere sul mio paese. In realtà mi piaceva cosi tanto stare così lontano dall'America che questo mi dava una tranquillita' che, purtroppo, andava via ogni volta che qualcuno mi faceva delle domande a riguardo.

Mah, chissa' dove mi trovero' a fine anno. Una cosa pero' e' certa, cioe' che il mio cuore e una parte del cervello rimarra' sempre italiana.

People

People for me by far are the greatest educators in life. People in the sense that you learn more about yourself through the interactions with others. The last 24 hours have been rather interesting, things you might see in a movie.

I will mention them one by one here:

1. A classmate of mine tried to introduce me to her business which seems to deal with a medical product that apparently can cure a lot of illnesses. The founder was in a wheelchair, and after 850 trial runs with certain foods, came up with the right combination which somehow regenerated his body. While I am sure this is a wonderful product and my classmate is seeing the benefits from it one year in (as an associate), I don't believe these things are for me. So I will kindly decline

2. I was at the bi-monthly Uni party here at Aston. It's called Pounded. A euphemism for buying a beer for only a pound, hence you are "pounded". I felt a little out of place as I am not much for the club scene, although I go to see people that I know. I am not particularly good at hitting on girls at a club as I find the whole atmosphere somewhat artificial. I prefer a real conversation where I can hear the other person clearly and get a better taste of their personality. For this I prefer salsa nights as it has a more mature feel to it and it's a night more dedicated to the art of dancing than doing a marathon of shots and acting like a moron in front of your friends. At one point there were these Indian guys (perhaps Middle Eastern) and loud voices and shoving eventually led to one dude taking a swing at another. Eventually one of these was thrown out.

For me it's pure comedy. I like seeing these kinds of things as it amazes me how stupid people can be. In this case you are either immature, egotistical and you let some other jackass get the best of your nerves, or a combination of both. I have never been in a fight in my life and I can't imagine being thrown out of a place.

3. Some girl on Skype with the genius attempt at hiding her intentions with the screenname "yum", decided to add me on Skype and start a sex conversation. This is assuming she wasn't a 300lb gay dude with a hairy back! She asked me what got me off, tits or ass? I said "I like helping people". Then I blocked her and that was the end of it.

4. I had to complain to my flatmates about something and I could tell they didnt want to hear it. I can tell when someone doenst look you in the eye when you talk to them. But we settled the matter anyway.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

I'm still alive!

I haven’t updated my blog since late 2012! A lot has happened and I will attempt to briefly tell what happened in all this time. Why do I continue my blog? Everyone has their view as to why we write these things. Mine is simple: a way to reach out to others to share experiences, hopes, opinions and dreams. Perhaps someone reads this and finds that he/she is not alone in the world. After all, we aren’t mean to be forever alone.

This might seem strange coming from a person who has lived in a few studio apts, but I always had an active social life and I hate staying at home for days on end. I’d say that I lived alone many times out of frustration for living with people who had no regard for the fact that there were others in the house and who didn’t have a civic duty to respect the space of others. There is nothing worse than living in a dirty place where you’re the only one who does most of the cleaning, and when you have people who don’t allow you to sleep at night in the name of their own entertainment (late night suppers with friends, music, etc. etc.) Selfish people in other words. You’re home should be your base where you can unwind and temporarily detach from the world.

The biggest news is that I am in England, at Aston University in Birmingham pursing a degree, an MA in TESOL. About 95% of the population has never heard this acronym which stands for “teaching English to speakers of other languages.” What that means is I am teaching English to people who can’t speak English that well if at all. Some people have asked me “But don’t they already speak English there?” Yes of course. The English people are also an ethnically pure race like the North Koreans and have never heard of immigration.

Anyway, I decided to come here after 5 years in Southern Italy from which really I had no set plans to leave there. My goal was just to work as an English teacher and enjoy la Dolce Vita. But sadly reality sank in, and I realized Italy is a country in financial trouble with no real plan to ensure a future for people my age and younger. I was fed up with not being able to travel, own a car, buy cool things once in a while and just got sick of being short on cash. Eventually I realized that if I wanted to be successful as an English teacher (or teacher in general), then I would need to further my education which hopefully will then allow me to apply to more prestigious places. People ask me, why England? Indeed, this is a country with defects, but what country doesn’t have them? The weather here is in fact not the greatest. But, I deal with and it look at the positive sides. However the fact is this: coming here I saved half the time and half the money doing a Master as opposed to doing it in America. Also being an Italian citizen, I was able to qualify for lower tuition (and having lived there, in Italy in recent years was necessary for lowering my costs) and I avoided a costly visa to come here. Lastly, they have the NHS, so tax funded health care.

After I finish here in Sept of this year I have to decide where I want to eventually settle down. I will be 35 in 3 weeks and I am starting to feel the need to bring things to a center and secure something for the bigger picture. I am thinking of staying here in the UK as I see this as a stable country with a public health plan (NHS) and possibility for a career. I may however decide to go back to the USA even though I am not wild about the idea. Popular culture in many countries (especially Italy Dio Santo!) look at the USA as a magical place and the idea that one who is from there who does not want to go back (me in other words) is crazy. I can understand this concept as the movies and the overall influence of the USA is tantalizing.

However I can speak from 1st hand experience having lived in 3 different countries, that what you hear and what you actually experience can be quite different. My advice to anyone who wants to relocate to the USA is to be very prepared. Prepared in the sense that it pays to be educated or know a craft (in fact the latter can be quite profitable if you’re good at sometime and you’re willing to work). The bottom line is you need money to live comfortably in America. Geographically it does have the advantage of being large, so if life doesn’t suit you in NY, you can relocate to Chicago and thanks to modern times, it’s possible to re-invent yourself later in life. So, yes I criticize the USA but not on everything obviously. It simply depends on who are you, what you do there and how you perceive American life. I suppose what irritates me, is how people consider it the only place on Earth where you can have a good life. May I suggest Canada, Northern Europe or Australia?

So I will consider the USA later this year, but I have my reservations and I don’t know if I fit in anymore with American society having spent these 5+ years abroad. One thing is for sure; I do not want to live in Connecticut again and all its glorious taxes and bitter cold winters. For the USA we’ll see.

Being a student again has been hard. I am not a patient reader (I get bored easily to the point of near dyslexia) nor do I have good time management skills at times. There are lot of readings that I have to do which are not always interesting and at times I feel I am dealing with academic writers who feel the need to show off their ability to make a simple concept complicated. Perhaps I am new to this aspect of reading and writing, but I know when something is not simple. I just took an exam this past Sat, the first in nearly 5 years as well as 3 assessments that I had to hand in. At first I thought I did terrible, but not I might be too hard on myself. I wont think about it anymore and just accept come what may.

Women. Let’s not go there! But I mentioned it so fair enough :D The older I get the more I know what I want. I asked a friend of mine yesterday what type of girl I should be with. She was very accurate in her description: romantic, serious and dynamic. A sense of humor would be appreciated too and God willing I find her beautifully both physically and mentally. I believe an attraction touches upon multiple senses and both are essential in a relationship. Women I think are blessed with the ability to look more with their hearts and to exclude physical imperfections.

One thing I have realized is that I can’t be with anyone who is mean, vindictive, empathy lacking and selfish. Also, I think I would be better off with a woman of faith, better if it’s mine, Catholic. I’ll be 35 soon and so I hope something happens in the next couple of years as I would like to have a family eventually. But to quote an Italian expression “Meglio solo che mal accompagnato”, it’s better to be alone than in in bad company. Amen.

To close, I would just like to add that the beauty of getting older is that you acquire more knowledge both of yourself and the world. Therefore I think this can allow you to be at peace with yourself and to realize what were superficial expectations in the past vs. what really counts in life. Also, to not give a damn what others think of you, to not concede to what they perceive of reality and of you is something valuable. Our brains are like filters which must be cleaned once in a while. That cleansing comes in the form (for me at least) of a faith in God, meeting other people and immersing yourself in the world around you. You must also realize that not everyone is going to like you and that’s fine. We are going to make mistakes and maybe not make others happy. That’s life. But as long as we realize those mistakes, learn from them and to forgive others then we can be at peace with ourselves.