Chasing people

My father has always told me to not chase people. Chase people in the sense don't keep pestering them to do what you want them to do. Of course we don't aways take our parents advice as it's only normal to not listen to someone you know well and who can get on your nerves sometimes. Also, when you know someone well, a gf, friend, parent etc. you eventually see them make a mistake or are wrong about something, so you tend to disregard thinking that this is another one of those times, them even when you really shouldn't. But my dad has always been right about this: don't chase people. As an adult and as someone who unfortunately learns by doing things the hard way I now better understand what this means. I think this piece of advice has been more obvious to me in terms of love in particular with what happened yesterday.

I won't get into details as it's not worth it. I wrote a letter on Word to my last gf, Cristina, a girl I dated from Aug 2013-Summer of last year who with me had always been cold, distant and superficial. Up until recently I still thought that some kind of future was possible although I always had my doubts and deep down I knew she wasn't right for me. Two days ago I wrote up my thoughts about us, her and why I thought she was superficial. Her answer? "You're right". Well, that pretty much cements the whole thing and I don't care. I just feel better that it's now officially over. I took my dad's advice and I will not chase her or anyone who doesn't want to be with me or even friends with me. I do admit that we have to be the ones who once in a while have to initiate contact and extend an olive branch, perhaps more than once. But what's important is that we realize quickly who isn't returning the ball served to them, as if human contact and relations were a metaphorical game of tennis.

While this piece of advice is good, I am not so cut and dry when it comes to relationships. They require more work and more patience. This might be why I am not always so quick to break up with someone; it just seems to vicious to tell someone bluntly, directly or indirectly, "I do NOT want to be with you". I have learned in life that there are often circumstances that we aren't aware of, or difficulties that others go through of which we are not aware of which could make someone seem distant. I grant that and I am empathetic when I am aware of the facts. But anyone who knows me, knows that I don't insist anyone do anything they don't want to, or the way I want things done. I am not a bossy, authoritative person so it's against my being to impose my will on someone. Now that may seem strange coming from a person who is doing an MA in TESOL (what is TESOL?!....no one has ever heard of this! google it), but when I am getting paid to be a boss then I will act like one.

I am not chasing anyone, if not being a pest means I have to spend some time alone then so be it. I'll end this with two credos that I live by: If someone or someone is important enough, you find and make the time. I treat others the way they treat me. If I seem too intense, Good! So be it.