Tuesday, June 23, 2015

3 months to go

roughly three months to go and I am really looking forward to leaving here. It's a surreal feeling as I am approaching another big milestone in my life. Where will I go next? Who will I meet? Will my next job be a more permanent solution or will I find myself in a feeling of transition again? Will I stay here, go back to Italy (Rome or Milano preferably), find something lucrative in the USA or do the one year plunge in Saudi Arabia? My heart is to go back to Italy and grow old there, but I am looking at that place objectively and common sense tells me to avoid that whole country. But that is all going to depend on the job that I find, the pay and the conditions. I feel that taking a job in Saudi is a short fix as it won't at all be a permanent position but rather a year sacrifice to pay off my student loan. This is in fact really appealing as it would allow me to do just that, and it's a loaded package with them paying for everything including flights, vacation, visa, tutto! However, that's one more year where I can't give myself the possibility to find someone and settle down. But life is funny and I could meet her tomorrow (unlikely though)

I long for my adult life back. I've had it with Uni life, being around kids, this whole insular world. Although overall I've been fine here, but one year was enough. I want my own place, a quite, comfy, clean place which allows me to sleep fine at night and one where I don't need a car. What I most look forward to is getting some stability,independence and being self-supporting as that is how I've lived for a while now and it's what makes me comfortable. I do want to stay put for a while as I think this helps to find a woman; who wants to be with someone who is constantly moving around?

Post-Uni projects that I want to do are: learn to play the guitar, learn more languages, improve my salsa dancing, learn to cook better and combine that with getting in great shape via the gym. On that note I can see myself becoming a health freak in the future! And finally, but certainly not of least importance are getting married and having a family. I imagine that woman around my age must be thinking the same thing so I am hoping that works in my favor. I will pray in the meantime and ask God to give me continued strength and direction

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Dissertation time.

It's finally here! The last (elbeit) long stretch of my MA program and thank God it's here! I can't wait to get out of here and resume my adult life. It's been fine here at Aston and overall I don't have any serious complaints but I think one year was just enough for me. I hope I do fine with my dissertation as this is a monstrous project which takes a lot of preparation. As long as I can organize my notes and materials and organize the dissertation in a comprehensive way I'll feel better as I can write rather well.

I am starting to feel the pinch of this damn dissertation. What makes it worse is that I don't have my research questions approved yet by my supervisor who doesn't always respond fast. And, they aren't allowed to have too many contact hours with us as for them it defeats the purpose of the independent study aspect of all of this. I must say, after 8+ months here I can declare that I don't like independent study even though that is the purpose of an MA program. I came here for a degree as terrible as that may or may not sound. But, I am hopeful. I think I have put together research questions which are based on the supervisors suggestions and subtopics which I mentioned in my presentation and don't seem to be a problem for my supervisor. What I don't want is to look up something which she will then say is not doable or irrelevant; this has already happened. Basically I have roughly 3 weeks to complete my lit review, then I go to my summer camp to do my analysis for my dissertation. I still need to get my ethics form approved which I will know by Wed. After that I can send Exsportise my in loco parentis form asking them permission to do my research. I also need to come up with the consent form for my colleagues at the summer camp. So, there is still work to be done, but I think I can manage it ok. I just hate how things are out of my hands for now!

It's somewhat surreal to think I will be leaving here soon but the big question is where? I so want to live in a warm climate and I torn apart whether to stay here in the UK which ironically I don't mind considering the possibility. I'd love to go back to Italy as my recent trip there reminded me of the good things about living there (obscured when you don't have to pay bills or deal with le cavolate of living there!) but I need to be practical. I am still considering a year in the Middle East as it's guaranteed pay, housing, expenses paid and a great way to pay off my student loan which I want to reduce the time needed to pay it back. But, the downside is that it is the Middle East and I've never really been there aside from a half day tour in Turkey in 1999. Also it's another year where I can't find someone to settle down with, and my parents don't like the idea. But I can't live my life vicariously through them and I do think the pros outweigh the cons.

I also didn't get a good mark on my last two assessments, one of them was miserable although I only take half the fault for that. The assessment briefing was very cryptic and I'd have liked to have seen samples of past work. We were shown this, but for 10 mins in class. Big deal, I got NO benefit from that. But still I want to know where I went wrong with the other one as I had high hopes for that one. Logically this isn't the best mentality going into the dissertation. But I will just work persistently (or try to) and hope for the best. But I am nervous