I haven’t updated my blog since late 2012! A lot has happened and I will attempt to briefly tell what happened in all this time. Why do I continue my blog? Everyone has their view as to why we write these things. Mine is simple: a way to reach out to others to share experiences, hopes, opinions and dreams. Perhaps someone reads this and finds that he/she is not alone in the world. After all, we aren’t mean to be forever alone.
This might seem strange coming from a person who has lived in a few studio apts, but I always had an active social life and I hate staying at home for days on end. I’d say that I lived alone many times out of frustration for living with people who had no regard for the fact that there were others in the house and who didn’t have a civic duty to respect the space of others. There is nothing worse than living in a dirty place where you’re the only one who does most of the cleaning, and when you have people who don’t allow you to sleep at night in the name of their own entertainment (late night suppers with friends, music, etc. etc.) Selfish people in other words. You’re home should be your base where you can unwind and temporarily detach from the world.
The biggest news is that I am in England, at Aston University in Birmingham pursing a degree, an MA in TESOL. About 95% of the population has never heard this acronym which stands for “teaching English to speakers of other languages.” What that means is I am teaching English to people who can’t speak English that well if at all. Some people have asked me “But don’t they already speak English there?” Yes of course. The English people are also an ethnically pure race like the North Koreans and have never heard of immigration.
Anyway, I decided to come here after 5 years in Southern Italy from which really I had no set plans to leave there. My goal was just to work as an English teacher and enjoy la Dolce Vita. But sadly reality sank in, and I realized Italy is a country in financial trouble with no real plan to ensure a future for people my age and younger. I was fed up with not being able to travel, own a car, buy cool things once in a while and just got sick of being short on cash. Eventually I realized that if I wanted to be successful as an English teacher (or teacher in general), then I would need to further my education which hopefully will then allow me to apply to more prestigious places. People ask me, why England? Indeed, this is a country with defects, but what country doesn’t have them? The weather here is in fact not the greatest. But, I deal with and it look at the positive sides. However the fact is this: coming here I saved half the time and half the money doing a Master as opposed to doing it in America. Also being an Italian citizen, I was able to qualify for lower tuition (and having lived there, in Italy in recent years was necessary for lowering my costs) and I avoided a costly visa to come here. Lastly, they have the NHS, so tax funded health care.
After I finish here in Sept of this year I have to decide where I want to eventually settle down. I will be 35 in 3 weeks and I am starting to feel the need to bring things to a center and secure something for the bigger picture. I am thinking of staying here in the UK as I see this as a stable country with a public health plan (NHS) and possibility for a career. I may however decide to go back to the USA even though I am not wild about the idea. Popular culture in many countries (especially Italy Dio Santo!) look at the USA as a magical place and the idea that one who is from there who does not want to go back (me in other words) is crazy. I can understand this concept as the movies and the overall influence of the USA is tantalizing.
However I can speak from 1st hand experience having lived in 3 different countries, that what you hear and what you actually experience can be quite different. My advice to anyone who wants to relocate to the USA is to be very prepared. Prepared in the sense that it pays to be educated or know a craft (in fact the latter can be quite profitable if you’re good at sometime and you’re willing to work). The bottom line is you need money to live comfortably in America. Geographically it does have the advantage of being large, so if life doesn’t suit you in NY, you can relocate to Chicago and thanks to modern times, it’s possible to re-invent yourself later in life. So, yes I criticize the USA but not on everything obviously. It simply depends on who are you, what you do there and how you perceive American life. I suppose what irritates me, is how people consider it the only place on Earth where you can have a good life. May I suggest Canada, Northern Europe or Australia?
So I will consider the USA later this year, but I have my reservations and I don’t know if I fit in anymore with American society having spent these 5+ years abroad. One thing is for sure; I do not want to live in Connecticut again and all its glorious taxes and bitter cold winters. For the USA we’ll see.
Being a student again has been hard. I am not a patient reader (I get bored easily to the point of near dyslexia) nor do I have good time management skills at times. There are lot of readings that I have to do which are not always interesting and at times I feel I am dealing with academic writers who feel the need to show off their ability to make a simple concept complicated. Perhaps I am new to this aspect of reading and writing, but I know when something is not simple. I just took an exam this past Sat, the first in nearly 5 years as well as 3 assessments that I had to hand in. At first I thought I did terrible, but not I might be too hard on myself. I wont think about it anymore and just accept come what may.
Women. Let’s not go there! But I mentioned it so fair enough :D The older I get the more I know what I want. I asked a friend of mine yesterday what type of girl I should be with. She was very accurate in her description: romantic, serious and dynamic. A sense of humor would be appreciated too and God willing I find her beautifully both physically and mentally. I believe an attraction touches upon multiple senses and both are essential in a relationship. Women I think are blessed with the ability to look more with their hearts and to exclude physical imperfections.
One thing I have realized is that I can’t be with anyone who is mean, vindictive, empathy lacking and selfish. Also, I think I would be better off with a woman of faith, better if it’s mine, Catholic. I’ll be 35 soon and so I hope something happens in the next couple of years as I would like to have a family eventually. But to quote an Italian expression “Meglio solo che mal accompagnato”, it’s better to be alone than in in bad company. Amen.
To close, I would just like to add that the beauty of getting older is that you acquire more knowledge both of yourself and the world. Therefore I think this can allow you to be at peace with yourself and to realize what were superficial expectations in the past vs. what really counts in life. Also, to not give a damn what others think of you, to not concede to what they perceive of reality and of you is something valuable. Our brains are like filters which must be cleaned once in a while. That cleansing comes in the form (for me at least) of a faith in God, meeting other people and immersing yourself in the world around you. You must also realize that not everyone is going to like you and that’s fine. We are going to make mistakes and maybe not make others happy. That’s life. But as long as we realize those mistakes, learn from them and to forgive others then we can be at peace with ourselves.
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