Racism in TV commercials

I don't care, this needs posting. I've been noticing TV commercials for the better part of a decade and since then I have noticed an overrepresentation of blacks vs. whites. In so many scenarios, I have seen situations where you have a white man and black man and very often the white man is portrayed as the inferior of the two. By inferior I mean he often is seen as the weaker one, nerdy, an idiot, socially awkward and in the end, the black man is the who comes out as the smarter one, or simply having the visual advantage.

In my opinion this is stupid and wrong and not a representation of reality. Each race has its good bad and the ugly, no one is spared. I've lived in three different countries so I base part of this belief on that. I think this is all a backlash of affirmative action in which society tried to reverse years of black discrimination. To do this, blacks (and prob other minorities) were given favor in areas of jobs and other social advantages. I believe that was a flawed system from the onset. I don't believe in the rocking of the social pendulum until we have equality. Based on TV commercials and hiring procedures which practice ratio quotas, we are seeing the inverse effect which is favoring people when they really don't deserve it. Blacks had problems in the past, yes I admit it. I wasn't there and I wouldn't practice it even today. That's besides the point yes, but the bottom line is this: I don't believe in privileges. Get in line and be humble and live life on your own merits.

What's pathetic is that I think it's considered racist to even bring something like this up. Those who know me and those who are able to look at life objectively will understand me. Here is an example of what I am saying. I am saying however that all commercials are like this. Not at all, but there have been enough out there where I have taken notice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdxiLQxC1n4. An example of what I mean.

CT bound...for now

I am almost done here at Aston and this dissertation is dragging out like a blade. But I am nearing the finish. I am at the results where I report what was said in my interviews and then relate it to theory. Then the conclusion where I make some profound claim, argument etc etc which is going to be an equally profound moment in my dissertation. I have no idea what grade I'll get as I feel I've put a lot of effort into it, which I have, but Aston and their critical grading never cease to surprise. For better or for worse. But I am sure it's decent and I won't fail. In all honesty I don't care if I just pass it as it wont do anything to my overall grade. I need a 65 to get an overall merit for the whole MA, which in their infinite mercy they give me. Well actually I shouldn't say that as God is in charge of that!

So, not having a job lined up I will go back to CT for a bit on Sat, finish my dissertation there and mail it in. There are mostly ups to going there. 1. Hot weather 2. My parents. 3. friends 4. Boston + NY 5. Driving again 6. Peace and quiet. The downsides are my 1. My parents as I don't always like staying there 2. No more Europe and I have no idea if I'll come back here to work anytime soon. If I get hired here in England I'll take that position as I really want to stay here in Europe and England is alright as a country, even though my heart is in Italy. Although, if I found a job that paid 60,000$ in America I think I'd take it. In all likelihood, I see myself going to Saudi Arabia for a year as I need a job and I can't not work.

I am once again at a major crossroads and I am always nervous about making the wrong decision or making one that will have a effect on my life that I don't want or leave me kicking myself later for it. My instincts tell me to hold out and wait for a decent job and maybe one that is slightly below my pay expectations to then develop professionally. But on the other hand I cannot wait around at my parents not working as I am going to go beserk! A job though in Saudi would cut me off from pretty much everything including possible romantic possibilities which in light of tonight, might be possible

Cristina seems to want to get back together, which I have mixed feelings about. She is a complicated girl and I need to see her in person or at least on the phone to clear things up. I am not going to get into it here, as I could be here all night. I will just say this. I am not basing my life on her at this point. If she happens to fit in somewhere I'll deal with her when the time comes.

Seeing the finish line

I am actually in a good mood today, I must say. This will be a somewhat positive post, a bit of a rarity for me as most of mine are a tad melancholy and surreal. I mean every day has its ups and downs and I don't usually have only a good day as there are ugly moments, like now as this damn cough won't go away which I've had since June. But I've had blood tests, chest X-ray, ultrasound on my neck, chest listenings and prob a few other things (I love the NHS, I paid nothing) but nothing sinister is suspected. In the meantime I am taking a health powder supplement that my friend Shazia sells. It's supposed to restore our immune system and be some kinda magic health restorer. Ok. We'll see if it works. She swears by it and she's quite a serious person who says it fixed a lot of her health problems.

Today I apply for jobs. I need find something soon as this will determine where I spend the next chapter of my life. I am halfway done with the dissertation at 8,500 words and I think I will be done at the end of the month. I'd like to travel to Dublin for a weekend then go to see my parents for na decina di giorni (roughly ten days). But if I find a job before that I may be going directly there be it here, the Middle East, Italy or the USA. Those are my choices. In reality I see myself staying here or heading off to Oman or Saudi Arabia. I saw a job which pays SICK cash, and I applied with a response from them requesting my documents. I replied. But after having looked at the forums that talked and complained about this company on Daveseslcafe.com it might not be all it's cracked up to be and I remain doubtful as to the validity of the ad. Oh well, if it's as good as they claim that would nice but if not, there are other options out there.

So today, I take some free time from my dissertation and focus on myself and job hunting. I am happy though as this dissertation which I've dubbed "the monster" is not as tremendously as hard as I had predicted yet it is difficult. I still have to send off my sample work to my supervisor but I am confident she'll like it and won't suggest radical changes! She better not!

Putting the past behind me......andiamo avanti.

I think one of the best parts of being an adult is allowing myself to put the past behind me. I used to deal with the past a lot worse than I do now. I've said goodbye to so many people, been through experiences, lived in different places that I've gotten used to I guess. Sure I miss certain things and certain people and I'd like to relive certain moments. But I have so many of them that I suppose I've reached a point where they either crush you (if you let them) and you're covered in sadness, or you let them help you to evolve to the point where you can throw it behind you and find the courage to look ahead.

Needless to say I am anxious to finish my dissertation which I am confident I'll get it done at the end of this month or at the latest the first week in September. I may go back to my parents house to finish it and if I don't find a job between now and Sept 12th which is when my lease is up at my room here at Aston. As for after I am leaning more towards staying here in England for many reasons. 1. I still don't care for America and I don't think I fit in there anymore. 2. The NHS, I want that publicly funded health care; I detest the US insurance companies which is an abomination at its core concept. 3. I am still here in Europe. 4. the UK despite its weather, is a more stabile country than the USA in my opinion. 5. I'd be here for my graduation in March. But I still may go to the Middle East for a year so I can save up and get experience, and then still come back here but unlikely i'd come back to Brum. Aston has been fine but it was only meant to be for a year to be honest.

I don't remember if I've posted this in past blogs, but once I get my own place and a proper job I want to undertake a few things. Salsa dancing, guitar, continue the gym, get into excellent shape, find a woman, get deeper into the Catholic faith, read the bible and lastly get involved with the church more. All in due time.

Almost done!

I am almost there! I have just come back from my summer job here in England and I am back at Aston. Not much more to go as I have to hand in my dissertation by Sept 30th, however I also have to leave my room by Sept 12th, so for me that is the real due date. I am confident though that I'll get it done well before the 12th, but I wouldn't be surprised if there were some difficulties and that the dissertation will present challenges that I hadn't thought of. Whatever, I'll deal with them when they come. I only hope I am able to provide more of a critical analysis than I have in the past.

Anyway, I am glad to be done with my summer camp job as it was stressful, I didn't sleep well, some of the kids annoyed me and I, being an independent person felt the total opposite. But it was a way to get paid while doing research for my dissertation, in fact I am jotting down now the things said from my recordings which I will then compare with literature. But it was bittersweet as there were nice aspects to the camp such as the picturesque town, nice co-workers, a few exceptions here and there. it's strange to be back though as when I left three weeks ago it felt like I had left Aston forever, instead I am back here and it's a ghost town as most people have gone home to finish their dissertation. This is good news for me as my flat is virtually empty which is great as two of the noisiest have left. One was noisy but not in an obnoxious way, the other was the party animal of the flat who in the end proved himself selfish, disrespectful and sneaky. The bastard is lucky he isn't still here as I have a few words for him.

I am in a surreal situation. It's part scary, part exciting and part unreal. I still can't decide where I want to go and start the next chapter of my life. I think I will most likely take a job in the Middle East as that is a great way to save money and I want to save a bit for once in my life! Also I think the exoticness of it is appealing. My next choice is Europe. I think I want to stay here as the USA is quite possibly not for me anymore, but I am not sure (Connecticut is def out of the question). I don't think I'd fit in to be honest. So that leaves the UK, Ireland and Italy where I would consider working. My heart is in Italy and it always will be, but I have said my opinion of that country too many times. It's weird though, when you leave it you forget the bad things and you long for the nice things and all the great memories. Then you go back and you get frustrated all over again. But I think what I crave is a warm place with a warm feel among the people, but with the opportunity to have some alone time and a quiet place to sleep. These places are great but I feel only the Middle East pays the big bucks whereas Italy and Spanish-speaking countries offer the life and culture I want but not the stability. Is the UK the answer to that, rain and ugly carpets and all??

I am overwhelmed with the choices out there. I suppose I should be grateful that I actually have these choices. I would like to find a school that can work with me, that can help me grow as a teacher and one that can bring out the things I have learned here at Aston (which I hope are things that are hidden for now), one that I can provide decent pay and steady work. I suppose this is what any working person desires. I pray to God to help me choose but it's not easy to hear what He has to say in this matter as each place I think of moving to has me asking myself "Am I going to regret this?" But I will trust that whatever I choose is what He wants for me. I must admit there is a certain curiosity to go back to the USA and the idea of working in a place such as California is appealing. In the end, it's all going to come down to the following: PAY, location, conditions, benefits and overall package.

3 months to go

roughly three months to go and I am really looking forward to leaving here. It's a surreal feeling as I am approaching another big milestone in my life. Where will I go next? Who will I meet? Will my next job be a more permanent solution or will I find myself in a feeling of transition again? Will I stay here, go back to Italy (Rome or Milano preferably), find something lucrative in the USA or do the one year plunge in Saudi Arabia? My heart is to go back to Italy and grow old there, but I am looking at that place objectively and common sense tells me to avoid that whole country. But that is all going to depend on the job that I find, the pay and the conditions. I feel that taking a job in Saudi is a short fix as it won't at all be a permanent position but rather a year sacrifice to pay off my student loan. This is in fact really appealing as it would allow me to do just that, and it's a loaded package with them paying for everything including flights, vacation, visa, tutto! However, that's one more year where I can't give myself the possibility to find someone and settle down. But life is funny and I could meet her tomorrow (unlikely though)

I long for my adult life back. I've had it with Uni life, being around kids, this whole insular world. Although overall I've been fine here, but one year was enough. I want my own place, a quite, comfy, clean place which allows me to sleep fine at night and one where I don't need a car. What I most look forward to is getting some stability,independence and being self-supporting as that is how I've lived for a while now and it's what makes me comfortable. I do want to stay put for a while as I think this helps to find a woman; who wants to be with someone who is constantly moving around?

Post-Uni projects that I want to do are: learn to play the guitar, learn more languages, improve my salsa dancing, learn to cook better and combine that with getting in great shape via the gym. On that note I can see myself becoming a health freak in the future! And finally, but certainly not of least importance are getting married and having a family. I imagine that woman around my age must be thinking the same thing so I am hoping that works in my favor. I will pray in the meantime and ask God to give me continued strength and direction

Dissertation time.

It's finally here! The last (elbeit) long stretch of my MA program and thank God it's here! I can't wait to get out of here and resume my adult life. It's been fine here at Aston and overall I don't have any serious complaints but I think one year was just enough for me. I hope I do fine with my dissertation as this is a monstrous project which takes a lot of preparation. As long as I can organize my notes and materials and organize the dissertation in a comprehensive way I'll feel better as I can write rather well.

I am starting to feel the pinch of this damn dissertation. What makes it worse is that I don't have my research questions approved yet by my supervisor who doesn't always respond fast. And, they aren't allowed to have too many contact hours with us as for them it defeats the purpose of the independent study aspect of all of this. I must say, after 8+ months here I can declare that I don't like independent study even though that is the purpose of an MA program. I came here for a degree as terrible as that may or may not sound. But, I am hopeful. I think I have put together research questions which are based on the supervisors suggestions and subtopics which I mentioned in my presentation and don't seem to be a problem for my supervisor. What I don't want is to look up something which she will then say is not doable or irrelevant; this has already happened. Basically I have roughly 3 weeks to complete my lit review, then I go to my summer camp to do my analysis for my dissertation. I still need to get my ethics form approved which I will know by Wed. After that I can send Exsportise my in loco parentis form asking them permission to do my research. I also need to come up with the consent form for my colleagues at the summer camp. So, there is still work to be done, but I think I can manage it ok. I just hate how things are out of my hands for now!

It's somewhat surreal to think I will be leaving here soon but the big question is where? I so want to live in a warm climate and I torn apart whether to stay here in the UK which ironically I don't mind considering the possibility. I'd love to go back to Italy as my recent trip there reminded me of the good things about living there (obscured when you don't have to pay bills or deal with le cavolate of living there!) but I need to be practical. I am still considering a year in the Middle East as it's guaranteed pay, housing, expenses paid and a great way to pay off my student loan which I want to reduce the time needed to pay it back. But, the downside is that it is the Middle East and I've never really been there aside from a half day tour in Turkey in 1999. Also it's another year where I can't find someone to settle down with, and my parents don't like the idea. But I can't live my life vicariously through them and I do think the pros outweigh the cons.

I also didn't get a good mark on my last two assessments, one of them was miserable although I only take half the fault for that. The assessment briefing was very cryptic and I'd have liked to have seen samples of past work. We were shown this, but for 10 mins in class. Big deal, I got NO benefit from that. But still I want to know where I went wrong with the other one as I had high hopes for that one. Logically this isn't the best mentality going into the dissertation. But I will just work persistently (or try to) and hope for the best. But I am nervous